OK, Emily said to herself as she walked to Chris Harrison's cabin, I have to get rid of an extra man in order to get Tanner included. So I need a date with at least two men in it so I can send one of them home at the conclusion of that date and send another one home at the rose ceremony. Piece of cake. She smiled to herself as she reached his front door.
"Hi, Emily," Chris said enthusiastically as he answered the door. "What brings you here?"
"My massaged feet," she replied, smiling at her own witticism. Chris let the shadow of a frown cross his face before regaining his show demeanor. He invited her inside.
"I have the perfect date in mind," Emily began, as she sat on the overstuffed sofa and hugged a decorator pillow to herself. "You know those Fear Factor dates the Fleiss mice create when it's the women who have to do something? I have some for the men." She paused and waited for Chris to show some excitement.
"Go on," he said, without changing expression.
"I want to take three of them on a date," she said, "one that will scare them to death."
Chris appeared interested. She continued. "I want to take Dodge, Ford, and Cooper to a knitting bee. We'll all learn how to knit together, then we'll spend all day making sweaters for children in orphanages."
Chris made a face. "Yuck!" he exclaimed.
"Exactly!" she squealed. "See how perfect that will be?"
When the date card arrived at the house, it was Thad who read it. "DODGE, FORD, AND COOPER -- COME WITH ME AND KNIT UP THE RAVELED SLEEVE OF CARE -- EMILY."
"Isn't it sleep that does that?" asked Ames. "Is she asking all three of you to sleep with her?" The three chosen men began to wink and elbow each other, making throaty sounds.
"Or maybe she's suggesting you all sleep with Lady Macbeth," Ames mused to no one in particular.
Soon Emily appeared and they all piled in the mini-van. The guys were still laughing and elbowing as they pulled up to a yarn shop. When they went inside, the men looked puzzled and uncomfortable.
"OK," said Helena, the woman who taught the knitting classes. "Let's get you folks settled in." And with that she gave each of them a pair of knitting needles and let them choose a color of yarn. Dodge chose black, Ford chose gray, and Cooper chose navy blue. Emily picked a bright fuchsia.
Over the next hour, Helena taught them how to cast on and how to do a basic knit stitch. For the following hour, she taught them a basic purl stitch. For an hour after that, she taught them how to do a cable stitch. And during the fourth hour, she taught them how to knit one, purl two. At the end of the fourth hour, she announced there would be a half-hour lunch break.
Emily and the three men stood up and stretched, then walked out to the courtyard. The Fleiss mice had brought in a blanket, a picnic basket, and one bottle of wine to be shared by the four of them. Quietly, they ate their fried chicken, potato salad, tossed green salad, and rolls. The men asked where they would be going after lunch.
Emily looked surprised. "Why, back inside, of course. We haven't made the sweaters for the poor little orphans, yet."
Dodge cleared his throat, then looked at Ford. Ford looked back, then they both looked at Cooper. Cooper returned their gazes.
"Ma'am," said Cooper, "I'm sure this is a worthwhile project." The other two nodded somberly. "But if you think I'm going back in there for an afternoon of more knitting, you've slipped a cog." The other two nodded again, murmuring "Yep" and "What he said." The three rose almost in unison and smiled when Charon appeared to escort them to his boat.
Only needed to get rid of two, and got all three as a bonus, Emily reflected. Not bad. Not at all bad. She sat alone on the blanket and smiled.
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