Emily woke up with a jolt. The sun seemed to have taken a turn, and she realized she'd been napping. A few of her colorful bird friends were hopping around on the blanket, snacking on crumbs. There were more perched in the trees. What had just happened? Oh, my goodness! All three guys bailed on me? She let out a funny little giggle. Fourteen guys gone, and I haven't had to touch a single stupid rose. For some reason, perhaps related to the past, roses didn't appeal to Emily at all. She'd have preferred magnolia blossoms, but that blasted contract . . .
The Fleiss mice told her not worry; they'd clean up after the picnic. Emily decided to return to her house by boat. As she was walking toward the dock, she started to feel anxious. "Everything worked out just fine for me," she thought. "But what about all those sweaters I promised the children?"
"And come to think of it," she continued aloud to no one in particular, "what if one of those guys was my special guy? I sure hope I didn't blow that!"
She got into the boat. Ferry Godmother noticed Emily's concern and asked Emily what was on her mind. Emily repeated what she had been thinking. Ferry Godmother reassured her, "Just let me think about it while I take you home. Don't worry. We are in the child pleasing business. You do know I come from the happiest place on Earth, don't you?" The birds twittered tunefully.
Meanwhile, on the opposite shore, the scene was very different. Dodge was sitting on a rock, disheveled and soaking wet. He was clearly not happy with his day but, with the same personality he'd displayed in the drag race, he was very competitive and determined not to lose. His motto: "Challenge, charge and dart." So there!
Let's flash back a couple of hours. When Ford, Cooper and Dodge left the picnic and got aboard Charon's boat, Dodge had a strange sense of foreboding. Where were they being taken? How long would it take? Just a few feet off shore, Charon asked the men for the boat fare. What fare? None of them had brought anything from the bunk house. While Ford and Cooper looked helpless, Dodge produced a piece of paper.
"What's that?" Charon asked. "It doesn't look like any money I've seen, and I've seen every currency there is."
"It's an insurance policy," Dodge responded.
"So?" Charon retorted.
"I won it at the drag race. I won the race. While everyone was distracted by that klutz Beamer's accident . . ."
"Yeah, I know," Charon interrupted. "I had to transport him after the EMT's were done."
"Uh . . . okay . . . ," Dodge acknowledged. "Anyway, a black bird flew up to me and dropped this at my feet. It says that if I ever get sent away, I can use it as a pass to stay in the game."
"Game?" Charon bellowed. "You think this is a game?"
"Well, I came here to date, not take a home ec course," Dodge explained.
"But you left. Emily didn't send you home," Charon said quizzically.
"True," Dodge tried a gambit. "But I didn't volunteer to go wherever you're taking me, so technically I'm being 'sent'." Dodge was a law student who had told the everyone in the production company he was a lawyer.
"Russell Crow gave you this?" Charon asked.
"Yes, indeed!" Dodge said hopefully.
Charon didn't want a run in with Russell Crow. Figuring that two out of three ain't bad, and being perfectly willing to let Dodge be someone else's problem, he decided to let Dodge go. But escape don't come easy. Charon tossed Dodge overboard, Dodge holding the precious insurance policy in the air to keep it dry. Dodge swam for shore.
Charon resumed the trip across the river. Ford, fucused as always, could not escape. Clearly, this was not going to be a fiesta. For the first time, Mini Cooper felt like his name. On the opposite bank, the men were greeted by the most incredible, amazingly alluring woman they had ever seen.
"Hello, gentlemen," she purred. "I'm Beth. I'd like to present you with souvenirs of your journey in Care-A-Lion." She handed each man a hand knit sweater adorned with embroidered white raisins. Over the left chest, where the designer logo goes, was the embroidered legend "Not here for . . ."
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