The front door was wide open, so when the date card arrived nobody was surprised when Russell just flapped into the living room and sat on the coffee table. The men were sipping caffe lattes, or Bloody Marys, or Orange Blossoms, and just about ready to eat the omelets and croissants being prepared by Gilles. Mary Ann was serving as Gilles's assistant, although it was difficult to determine exactly what her role was, given that she seemed merely to be standing near him and watching him. He, in turn, seemed pleased with her company, and often would describe for her exactly what ingredients he was adding, or what technique he was using. Mike took the date card from Russell's bill.
"AMES ~ LETS NOT LEAVE OUR ROMANCE ON ICE ~ EMILY," Mike read aloud.
"Woo hoo!" some of the guys shouted. "Things are heating up!" Ames just smiled.
The helicopter was waiting for them on the lawn outside the house, and they both hopped in. Once again, Emily pointed out the features of Care-A-Lion and Ames seemed appreciative of her narration. Before long they landed in a large parking lot outside a massive sports complex. A neon sign announced HOME OF THE CARE-A-LION TWIRLY WINDS, and showed an enormous rendering of a hockey player zooming along on ice.
"I've never been to a hockey game before," said Emily with excitement in her voice. "Have you?"
"Just once," Ames said. "It was pretty interesting."
"Well, aren't I the lucky one, then?" Emily gushed. "You can explain everything to me."
"Do you know who the Twirly Winds are playing today?" asked Ames.
"I'm not sure," Emily began, but then spotted a sandwich board near the door. "Does it say up there?"
" 'The Burnaby Beavers'," Ames read aloud. "Ah. Right outside Vancouver, BC."
Their seats were spectacular, and they rose for the parading of the colors and the singing of the two national anthems. Emily was surprised that Ames knew the words and tune for the Canadian national anthem and enjoyed his rich baritone as he sang along. Then the puck was dropped and play began.
"How many guys on each side?" Emily asked.
"Six," Ames said, smiling at her. "Five plus the goalie. He doesn't move far from the net."
Soon a whistle blew. "What's that about?" asked Emily.
"It's a penalty," Ames said. "One of the Twirly Winds was caught high-sticking. It's only a two-minute minor penalty." They watched as the player went off the ice and into the penalty box.
"But, wait!" Emily protested. "Now the Twirly Winds are one man short!"
"Yes," said Ames. "That's why they call it a penalty."
"But that's not fair!" Emily fussed, even more loudly. "BOOOO!" The people in front of them turned around and looked at her.
"And anyway," Emily continued, "what's high-sticking? What's that mean?"
"It means the player held the stick above his shoulders."
"Well, big frickin' deal," Emily huffed, crossing her arms in front of her.
Shortly, the player returned to the ice and Emily sat up straighter. "That's better," she nodded.
The whistle blew. "Again???" Emily demanded. However, this time the penalty was called on the Beavers.
"Whoa," said Ames. "It's a four-minute double minor penalty."
"Double minor penalty?" echoed Emily. "What kind of silly name is a double minor penalty?"
"It's four minutes," Ames said, his patience growing thin. "It's for one of the things that might get you a two-minute penalty, but it's a more serious version of it."
"Glad it's their guy," Emily gloated.
But then the whistle blew again.
"Now what?" Emily sulked.
"A five-minute major penalty against the Twirly Winds. Didn't you see our guy checking that Beaver guy really hard into the boards?"
Emily snickered. "Yep. Took him right out."
"Well," Ames said stiffly, "that's what got our guy the major penalty."
Emily was still considering her protest when the Beavers made a goal.
"WHAT?" she yelled. "The Twirly Winds are one guy short and the Beavers are taking advantage of that to make a goal? That's just not nice! I'm leaving!"
Ames said nothing as Emily stood.
"Are you coming with me?"
"Um, no," Ames said calmly. "I think I'll just stay and watch the rest of the game."
"I can't believe this," Emily said between clenched teeth. She held her head extra high as she walked over to the helicopter and boarded it. She gave one last look at the doorway to see if Ames had wised up, but there was no sign of him.
A bit later, Russell Crow flapped to Chris's house with the day's report.
"DAMN!" shouted Chris. "Another night with no rose ceremony!" He ate white raisins until he felt better. It took the entire box.
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