33. Emily was starting to become suspicious that something untoward was going on with the white raisins. First, boxes of them seemed to disappear. But second, no matter how many she and others ate, they never seemed to run out. Third, they made her feel... well... different. Calmer. Happier. She noticed Chris ate them, too, when he seemed particularly upset. She thought about the men in the house and had noticed some of them ate them constantly while others didn't seem to touch them. She had thought it was a good thing when a man was there for the white raisins, but now she began to wonder.
She remembered the Ferry Godmother had told her if she had any questions, she could send a bird. She selected a particularly beautiful cardinal, put a note in his beak, and sent him on his way. Before long the cardinal returned with a note for her. "Come down to the boat," it read. She slipped on her sandals and headed down the path.
"What causes you to ask about the raisins?" Ferry Godmother asked. Emily shared her observations.
"One of the young men in the house is named Guy," Ferry Godmother said. "You haven't had a date with him yet. Do you know who he is?"
"Oh, yes!" enthused Emily. "He's very nice and very handsome."
"He's also very smart," said Ferry Godmother. "He's a biochemist doing important medical research."
"Whoa," said Emily.
"He could probably figure out if something strange is in those raisins," Ferry Godmother continued. "You could ask him."
Emily thanked Ferry Godmother and returned to her house.
Presently Russell appeared at the men's house, carrying an envelope. Bentley figured it must be his turn for another one-on-one date, so he yanked out the card and read it aloud. "GUY ~ LET'S SEE HOW MUCH CHEMISTRY THERE IS BETWEEN US. ~ EMILY." Bentley pouted and threw the card at Guy.
When the helicopter landed on the front lawn, Guy was ready. He climbed aboard with Emily and they took off. Once again they had a spectacular view of Care-A-Lion and Emily pointed out the interesting sights. Now, though, the pilot was heading a different direction and soon the roof of a major medical facility came into view. The helicopter landed on the pad on the rooftop, and Guy and Emily took the stairs down to the interior of the building. Soon they spotted a sign reading MEDICAL LABS with an arrow pointing to the right. Guy looked at Emily, puzzlement written on his face, but he said nothing.
Once inside the labs, Emily told Guy the same things she had shared with Ferry Godmother. His face lit up with an expression of interest and excitement. "What a treat!" he said. "I don't know any women who would think it's a fun date to do biochem stuff!" He gave her a hug, then sat at the bench. Emily handed him a box of white raisins.
"Have you eaten any of these?" Emily asked.
"Once," he replied. "Your description of what they do was very accurate. I never tried them again." He settled in next to the petri dishes, the microscope, and various solutions. Emily grabbed a copy of Elle from the waiting room and made herself comfortable. She knew it could take a while.
Guy, however, was quite quick. In slightly less than an hour he turned his chair and faced her. "The raisins have been soaked in a solution of Ludwig Spaeth & Dogwood," he reported. "Somebody is taking the boxes, soaking them, drying them out, then returning them."
"What is that? That Ludwig stuff?" Emily asked.
"Ludwig Spaeth is a variety of Lilac," he responded. The mixture is a new designer drug. Its street name is 'Lose Stress & Depression' and that's pretty much what it does for users."
Emily was fascinated. "So, those of us who've been eating the raisins have a false sense of calm and happiness," she said.
"Exactly," Guy confirmed. "It's dried and pulverized lilac flowers mixed together with dried and pulverized dogwood bark. Then it's mixed with water and the resulting liquid is what the raisins are soaked in. The white color is new to me, though. I don't know what produces that."
Emily began to giggle. "Dogwood bark. If it were catwood, would it be catwood meow?"
Guy chuckled.
Emily opened her bag. "Guy," she began, "will you accept this rose?"
"I'd be most happy to do so," he responded, bowing slightly. She pinned it to his shirt.
"I'm going to stop eating those raisins," Emily said, a serious tone returning to her voice. "With you, reality is more interesting."
He smiled.
34. Russell Crow had become so self-important he felt it was an intrusion on his time if the door to the bachelor house was actually closed, requiring him to peck at it with his beak. Alas, today was one of those days, and Russell gave it one peck. Soon the door opened and he hopped in. Richard held out his hand for the envelope, but Russell hopped over the coffee table and gave it to Jason. Jason grinned as he opened the envelope, assuming the card was for him.
"MIKE ~ LET'S SEE IF OUR LOVE IS REEL ~ EMILY."
"Hmmph," snorted Jason. "The chick can't spell."
"Either that or she's inviting him to go fishing," Richard offered.
"Fishing? Cool!" said Mike with some excitement as he went upstairs to get ready.
When Emily arrived she was wearing blue slacks and a red, white, and blue V-neck pullover shirt. She had on the comfortable sandals, this time a pair of red ones. She didn't appear dressed for fishing, but the guys knew the crew would bring along what was needed. Mike came down the stairs wearing khaki slacks and a blue-and-beige striped shirt with an alligator stitched over its pocket. He broke into a huge grin when he saw her. He wanted to show her he'd gotten the joke from the date card, so he had spent most of the time he had to get ready thinking of fish names.
"I cod have fixed my hair in a mullet," he said, an exaggerated grin on his face, "but I was afraid you'd snapper and carp over it. Anyhow, I'm tired of being one of the groupers here. These guys don't shower often enough, and they've smelt since they got here. I'm glad to be with you today. Wahoo!"
"Well, bless your heart," Emily enthused. "I'll bet your mama just loves to listen to your humor!"
They walked together down the path to the boat, and were welcomed aboard by Ferry Godmother. He thought it was a good sign that they were on the water.
"It's getting on toward lunchtime," Emily said, "so we're starting our adventure with a picnic at the park." The ferry docked at the edge of the Robert E. Lee Memorial Park and Emily indicated to Mike he should carry the picnic basket. She carried the blanket.
Once again, Security was pushing back a crowd. "Emily! Emily!" voices shouted. Smart phone cameras were held high in the air. "Look over here!" As before, a television crew was at the front of the crowd, demanding to have an exclusive interview with the couple. Mary Ann was helping to keep them behind the line. "We're here, on the ground, where Emily and her suitor... I think it's Mike... are having a picnic lunch," a female voice intoned. "At the end of the day she'll decided whether to keep him or boot him. The crowd here, on the ground, has come to wish the couple well, and to hope for pictures which, at the end of the day, they'll post to various social media. We are here, on the ground, in hopes of getting time with them and, at the end of the day, to add our good wishes for a happy date. After all, at the end of the day, what's better than a good relationship? On the ground, that is."
Emily had spread the blanket and Mike had begun pulling bowls and dishes and tableware out of the picnic basket. Emily found a bottle of chilled semillon and handed it to Mike to open. She dished up the fried chicken, potato salad, three bean salad, rolls, and baked beans. Mike took his plate and ate enthusiastically.
"You're supposed to talk to each other," called Mary Ann from behind the cameras.
The Fleiss mice were scampering around, looking concerned.
"Maum zed iz not nize to tawk wif my mout full," Mike said in barely intelligible tones.
"Then swallow and talk," called Mary Ann.
Emily had taken a little nibble from the end of a pickle and waited for Mike to finish chewing.
"What do you think of our relationship so far?" she asked.
He gulped. "I don't know how to say this, Emily," he began, "but I think I'm falling for you."
"Bless your heart," said Emily warmly. "I'll bet you say that to all the girls." The second part of Emily's comment had been written on Mary Ann's cue card.
"I used to," Mike admitted, "but now you're the only one."
"Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing!" Emily gave him one of her famous mega-watt smiles as she stood up. "Time to go," she said. He looked longingly at his unfinished lunch, then rose with her.
They walked back to the ferry, leaving various crew members to pick up the picnic detritus. The Fleiss mice all grabbed pieces of food before closing things up in the basket. Mike looked around the boat for fishing gear, but none was visible. He guessed the crew had already taken it to the river or lake or fishing hole or wherever they were going.
In a very short time, however, the boat docked in town. Mike looked perplexed, but then wondered if they were to go pick out fishing gear. He followed Emily off the pier and onto the downtown sidewalk. He saw a sporting goods store on the other side of the street, next to a movie theater, and hurried his pace a bit.
"My," said Emily, smiling, "aren't you just the eager beaver!"
"This'll be a great afternoon," Mike said.
"And evening," Emily added, stopping short at the movie theater.
"What are we doing?" asked Mike.
"I thought you had figured it out. We're going to the picture show, silly." Emily turned her smile on him, again.
"Uh, what picture show," asked Mike, trying to keep disappointment out of his voice.
"Oh, it's going to be a real treat," said Emily, eyes dancing. "It's a movie marathon weekend. We can't stay for all of it, of course, but we can stay this afternoon and tonight. It's a Bette Midler and Shirley MacLaine film festival."
"It's a whaaaaaat?" Mike wailed.
"We're gonna see 'The First Wives Club' and 'Anne of Green Gables' and 'The Stepford Wives' and 'Bewitched' and 'What Women Want' and 'Hell on Heels: The Battle of Mary Kay' and..."
"Hold it!" Mike yelled.
"Yes, darlin'?"
"I thought we were going fishing. You know, that stuff about the reel." Mike was almost pleading.
"No, silly, the reel is a movie reel. Get it?" She smiled again.
"Not a chance," said Mike, sounding very determined. "Good luck," he said, as he turned on his heel and walked back toward the ferry. In its place, however, was Charon, who invited him aboard.
Emily and Mary Ann watched him go, then exchanged winks. They went into the theater together.
35. Later that evening, Russell reported the day's events to The Powers That Be.
"You're going to need to put Chris on suicide watch," he said. The Powers nodded.
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